Relationship Over Religion: Why Jesus Calls Us to More

When I was a kid, I thought being a “good Christian” was basically about keeping the rules. Don’t say bad words. Don’t miss church. Don’t do the things on the “bad list.” If I could check enough boxes, I figured God would be happy with me. But here’s the problem: you can keep all the rules and still miss the point. You can look religious on the outside and still be empty on the inside.

That’s exactly the trap the religious leaders in Jesus’ day fell into. And it’s the same trap we can fall into today—mistaking religion for relationship. In John 8:31–47, Jesus has a heated conversation with those leaders, and in it He gives us a blueprint for what real discipleship looks like. Spoiler: it’s not about keeping score—it’s about knowing Him.

Jesus and the Religious Leaders

Jesus pulls no punches here. He tells the leaders, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:31–32). Notice what He didn’t say:

• He didn’t say, “If you memorize My teaching.”

• He didn’t say, “If you look religious enough.”

• He didn’t say, “If you attend enough services.”

He said: “If you hold to My teaching.”

In other words, discipleship isn’t about information—it’s about transformation. It’s not just knowing the truth, but living it.

The Danger of Legalism

Here’s where it gets real: legalism is sneaky. It dresses itself up as devotion, but really it’s just empty routine. Why? Because legalism measures faith by rules kept instead of relationship built. It focuses on appearances and scorecards. And Jesus made it clear: that doesn’t change hearts.

He even called out the religious elite of His time as “whitewashed tombs” (Matthew 23:27)— beautiful on the outside but dead inside.Legalism looks spiritual, but it’s lazy. Rules are easier to follow than relationships are to cultivate. But the easy road isn’t the freeing road.

Rules vs. Relationship

Does this mean rules don’t matter? Not at all. God’s commandments—the Ten Commandments especially—are moral guardrails. They’re there to guide us into a life that honors Him. But here’s the key: rules are meant to serve the relationship, not replace it. Think of it like marriage. A husband can follow all the “rules”—remember anniversaries, mow the lawn, take out the trash—but if there’s no love, no intimacy, no connection, the marriage isn’t healthy.

The same is true with God. He doesn’t just want rule-keepers. He wants sons and daughters.

Authentic Discipleship

So what’s the difference between a religious person and a true disciple? Obedience. Jesus says that real disciples “hold to” His words. That doesn’t mean perfection. It means direction. A disciple’s life is oriented toward Jesus, even when it’s messy. True discipleship isn’t about how good you look in front of others. It’s about how surrendered you are to God. It’s about daily choosing to align your life with His will—even when it costs you something.

Freedom Through Truth

And here’s the payoff: Jesus promises freedom. “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:32)

But that freedom isn’t automatic. It’s not just knowing the truth in your head. It’s living by it. And the freedom Jesus offers isn’t just freedom from sin—it’s freedom from shame. Freedom from guilt. Freedom from the treadmill of trying harder and never feeling like you measure up. Religion keeps you chained. Jesus sets you free.

How This Plays Out in Real Life

So what does this look like on Tuesday morning when the alarm goes off and real life hits?

• Prioritize Relationship Over Rules. Don’t just check a box. Ask, Did I connect with Jesus today?

• Embrace Obedience. When God nudges you to forgive, to give, or to take a step of faith —it’s not about earning points. It’s about deepening your relationship with Him.

• Experience True Freedom. Stop carrying guilt and shame Jesus already carried to the cross. Walk in the freedom He’s already given you.

Why This Matters Now

We live in a culture obsessed with appearances. Perfect selfies. Highlight reels. Polished résumés. It’s easy for church to drift into that same game—showing off how “together” we are. But Jesus cuts through all of it. He’s not after your performance. He’s after your heart. That’s why relationship > religion.

Final Word

Religion says, Do more. Jesus says, It is finished. Religion says, Earn your place. Jesus says, You already belong. So today, step beyond the rituals and checklists. Stop settling for outward religion, and step into the relationship that will change everything. Because at the end of the day, it’s not rules that transform you—it’s Jesus.